Articles. Why do we need articles? They are a fundamental part of the English language, and they are stupid. Who had the brilliant idea to make the sentence “I went to the store and bought a turkey,” have two more words than neccisary? If we changed the rules of grammar, and did away with articles, it really wouldn’t matter that much. Sure it sounds stupid when I say “I went to store and bought turkey,”, but it wouldn’t if everyone spoke that way.

Latin uses far fewer pronouns. If you wanted to say he hits in Latin, you would say pulsat. If you wanted to say I hit, you would say pulsō. If you wanted to say you hit, you would say pulsās. It only takes one word.

Pronunciation. In English, if you haven’t seen a word before, there’s a pretty good chance you will pronounce it wrong. In Latin, assuming you learned the alphabet correctly, you will pronounce it right. Latin is a phonetic language, while English… what kind of a word is phonetic?! WHAT? PHONETIC? How do you pronounce that? Even worse, WHAT KIND OF A WORD IS SHOE? Shoe? Shoe? Really. How does “œ” make the oo sound? Shoo, articles. Shoo, pronouns. Shoo, weird pronunciations.

Signed, Him. The Julius